can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
