Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
