But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
