I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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