Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We talked him into tasing himself.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
