I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
