wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
