I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
