Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My life is pants optional.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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