I will die if light touches me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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