Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
