and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
