Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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