I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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