it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
