I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
