the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
