Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
