just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
