I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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