I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
