If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
