Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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