This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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