She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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