So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
