do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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