I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
