lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
