i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
