My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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