Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
