Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
