Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
