Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
