Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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