dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
