i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
