did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
