so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
