I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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