i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
