My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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