The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
