He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
