i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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