Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
