if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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