i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just high enough for therapy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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