so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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